My February glucagon test proved fruitful. I have no growth hormone, none! I need “some” at the very least without even taking into consideration that my body worked on much higher levels of GH most of my life before the tumor was excessive and therefore harmful. So, I need more than a little. Insurance companies don’t want to pay for growth hormone and deny it over and over. Progress? They will work on getting the approval but how long will it take and will there ever be a yes?


“But you don’t look sick”

Then I had a call with my integrative doctor and when we hung up it led to me to search, yet again, for more pain specialists. I took a deeper look at one and thought this might actually work! I called. I was told I needed a referral, “grown.“ Whats with Rochester and referrals. I do not need one with my insurance and my medical records speak volumes. I emailed the doctor I just got off the phone with and asked for a referral and they sent one right over. Then I selected only the necessary pages from my medical files so they see only what they need. They are not interested in a negative pregnancy test before ketamine infusions. These silly extra facts put 60 irrelevant pages before the good stuff. Are doctors too lazy to flip through to find what they are looking for? I’ve often been “teased“ by doctors because of the amount of medical records I come with because the hospitals send everything, from every doctor and every lab. Now that those responsibilities have been given to the patient I can remedy this with only what is appropriate.

I put the PDFs of the appropriate pages on a thumb drive, took a little trip to drop it off. They said they would let me know IF the doctor would accept me as a patient. “If“ …what a horrible word at times. She said by end of day I would be contacted. I was patient and three days later, on a Saturday no less, they called to say the doctor would see me.

They happen to have an opening on Tuesday and slipped me in. The doctor was running behind – pretty typical in my experience. So we waited and waited. I realized I had not looked up this doctor‘s ratings and my stomach did a flip. So I looked… Praise God! 4.6 out of five stars. People always say “no one takes the time to leave good reviews.“ Um, yeah they do. Especially five-star doctors. My favorite neurologist in North Carolina had five full stars. This doctor had one outlier so in my opinion he had 5 stars.

I’m over the idiotic masking. Actually, I never accepted it. A doctor with an accent plus a mask… Just stop. But he did take his mask off as did I. He had read my files and suspected he find confirmation upon exam. He had questions and did some physical tests. SI joint! This little joint bears all the weight and affects down my legs. I can’t lie down and I surely can’t get up with any grace, dignity or ease. I asked him about the hip doctor and her diagnosis that the SI joint had minor arthritis. He told me “you can’t tell anything from an x-ray.” Progress!

They scheduled me for the test shot (no steroids) in three weeks – feels like three years. But they have to get insurance approval. Sigh! Progress?

So I wait. I am in excruciating pain and I can’t do anything about it.

I will fight but first I have to wait. Hopefully I will not have to fight the insurance companies because they will do the right thing.

The pain is robbing me of my life. My desire to create is there but not. I am searching for it and dabble but that is for another time.

I did enter a painting in Femina 2022 for International Women’s Day. The show runs from March 8 to April 8th. They accepted over 200 paintings. That’s 125-150 too many but they charge an entrance fee… And as always I’m sick of people praising ugly, depressing, destructive art. When journaling you release thoughts and close the book. When you paint the dark thoughts… You do what, keep staring at it, reliving it? Where is the release unless you burn it!

As I’ve said before art is subjective. Like dark art if that’s your a thing but I don’t think most people like it – this is observational. Of 200+ paintings in this international competition done by public viewing and comments as votes my gypsy is currently in first place. I reach out to my contacts for reviews but then it took off on it’s own. I have the most comments (27 to date, see hard to get votes) and more than 1000 views more than the second placed artist. If you have left a review, thank you! If you haven’t you still can. Getting people to leave a comment is the hardest part but the views are organic. That is the loveliest part. My Soulful Gypsy is strong, positive and feminine. She has words of positivity flowing throughout. Isn’t that what International Women’s Day is all about? Strength, positivity, beauty. Don’t worry, beauty has many forms… Inner, spiritual, outward, charity, loving and of course generosity.

My Soulful Gypsy is being seen! My talent recognized! Progress! Will it get me anywhere, move forward with large scale recognition that brings sales? Progress?

Pain and illness steel time and energy. It steals desire. I could have been a great many things. Instead I’m fighting to stand up on my own, literally. But my strength is a great thing, possibly the greatest.

But wouldn’t selling some of my art be amazing?! It would be. It would be wonderful to sell, be recognized as an accomplished artist, an accomplished, disabled artist. ….Who could buy her own GH without insurance for 60k/year and nerve blocks because the doctor said so. Shouldn’t the good doctors making life changing decisions be in charge, not insurance companies. Of course the should.

We Are All Wanderers of the Earth,  Our Hearts Are Full of Wonder, Our Souls Deep With Dreams — Gypsy Proverb


Acorn – continued health – improved health  

⚓️Anchor – lucky symbol – Success in business or in love  

❤️ Heart – A lover  

☀️🌙⭐️Heavenly bodies – sun, moon, star – good luck – great happiness and success  

🔺Triangles – unexpected good fortune  

🦅Birds – good luck. Flying, good news from the direction it comes.


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