What would one say if I decided it was best to listen to all these doctors and seek mental health therapy and search for the end result of meditating myself out of crippling pain?

If I went, I would already know that I have PTSD. The blatant “gaslighting“ of a patient to make it a mental issue means every discussion would involve the absolute disgust I have for 98% of all Western medicine professionals who drank the Kool-Aid and Do Harm.

You cannot gaslight me. I am not one of the weak ones — I will take you on. I will not stop fighting for myself and in the process for others.

So what have I found in the past month… Answers! Fact based, REAL Science not this fake BS they are peddling.

Of course to have proper lab work done you must see a functional medicine doctor. They don’t believe in gaslighting patients. They are about the root cause and facts. This does not mean that all functional medicine doctors are on the up and up or anything more than extra greedy. You have to do your research!! My husband Paul, did all the work.

A minimum of 12 vials of blood was drawn and just about every test possible (things I’ve asked for for years and have been told “no, it won’t help, it’s not your problem, you need to see a therapist.” What did I actually get…ANSWERS and EXPLANATIONS – 100% more than I’ve been getting.

I don’t have the money for this. Organizations and charities that help with the money needed to work with a functional medicine doctor, the supplements and the bio identical hormones needed to fix as much of me as possible doesn’t exist. Sure you can find charities and organizations with free money for weight loss surgery, IVF therapy, cancer, cancer, cancer. I hate cancer for so many reasons. Just because it’s a word you know doesn’t mean that they are the only people in need. And just because insurance doesn’t pay for it doesn’t mean it’s black magic medicine.

It’s actually things that work.

It’s actually the things they can’t charge for so they say it’s not safe. Read a Rx pamphlet or watch a Big-Pharma commercial lately?
Do I try crowdfunding?
T-shirt design with a place for donations?
I’m at a crossroads. 

A few examples from my bloodwork… Women need at least some testosterone – I have zero. The people I’ve told about my testing, asked “why wasn’t that tested before?” Big Pharma, Big Pharma, Government is in bed with, yup, Big Pharma. So the answer is greed, I wasn’t tested because of greed. 

DHEA — the building block of hormones, simply put. I’m very, very low. The value should be above 42. Me — 7.4 S.E.V.E.N!!!! “

Your DHEA-S levels were: 7.4, the Ref. Range is 41.2-243.7 & the Optimal Range is > 200. 

DHEA (Dehydroepiandrosterone) is a precursor steroid hormone that is converted into androgens and estrogens. Studies have shown that replacement of DHEA could play a role in prevention and treatment of metabolic syndrome associated with abdominal obesity….”

Maybe tertosterone and DHEA have something to do with my lack of energy for 25 years where doctors chalked it up to me being lazy.

There were a few other zeros. They were things that were very low or just within range. But that’s an “average” scale. Who’s the say that’s not too low for me? Who’s to say that everyone wouldn’t feel better at the high range of just about everything?

Let’s talk growth hormone. Acromegaly is too much GH. I’ve had surgery and radiation and I am unbelievably glad to be in remission but the hits keep coming. That needs to be acknowledged by the medical professionals I see. Acromegaly has affected the course of my life forever. Things that have been damaged have been damaged forever. Stop telling me I need mental therapy. You need mental therapy. I have told the last four pituitary endocrinologists (UNC, MGH, MSK, UR) That I feel better when my IGF-I is higher. It is getting very low. It’s still in the “normal” range but I don’t feel well. They won’t do anything until it’s gone but he look up GH it is a lot for your system. “GH is used as replacement therapy in adults with GH deficiency of either childhood-onset or adult-onset (usually as a result of an acquired pituitary tumor). In these patients, benefits have variably included reduced fat mass, increased lean mass, increased bone density, improved lipid profile, reduced cardiovascular risk factors, and improved psychosocial well-being.” It also has a lot to do with cell turnover there’s a whole lot to cell turnover. I am now working with a functional medicine Doctor, who is a real doctor with more experience than endocrinologists (who he now teaches) said you need GH. It’s too low! Yep, I’ve been very well aware. He wants me on GH. It’s almost illegal (greed) and I do not have $350/mo, plus the fee for a boutique doctor and all the compound hormones and supplements. All these things that make me feel better are not covered by insurance.


So for now I am starting with everything else. Today is only the seventh day of taking everything. So I have no reviews to give. I just have hope that this will work – I’m looking for a better quality of life.

One thing has changed… My severe wired and tired life has become much more tired and less wired. The first day I took HRT I fell asleep on Paul’s shoulder for two hours. Then I shifted sides to lay on the couch and for another hour, sleeping. No meds. And with my regular cocktail of sleep meds that night I slept. In the last seven days at least five of those days I’ve napped for 2 to 3 hours not purposely. Just sitting down to rest… lie down for a minute. Yeah those minutes of stretching into hours real fast.

My answer is my body saying “what the!! …I’ve been looking for that for 25 years” then it goes into healing mode and I sleep. Healing happens when we sleep. 

I’m so incredibly sleep deprived but I’ll take it. I’ve been with Paul almost 20 years and I have never taken a nap and slept since knowing him without being drugged and very sick… Even that was hit or miss. And if I slept during the day I have problems sleeping at night even with a cocktail of meds. 

My father has always said money doesn’t buy happiness but lack of it sure buys a lot of misery He also says if money can fix it then it’s not a problem. Money can fix it but I don’t have the money, so it is a problem.

I will do what I can. Pray the sheep wake up and the government is fixed (I have to have hope and take action where I can) I need all of my freedoms. I need charity. I give where I can, whenever I can but this I cannot even save up for. Every little bit helps. My little bit added with someone else’s little bit makes a difference. When does that come back to me? When am I the one to get some help?

At the moment I am giving it up to God. “Jesus I trust in you” and “Lord I believe, help my unbelief” … I go and help others which is usually design work. Or take a nap. This week I started a commissioned painting because my cousin, my grandmothers niece, loves my artwork and wants to support me. Imagine if everybody that little bit of that… 

SIDE NOTE: Changing your diet from SAD, processed foods, etc does change your health. Paul and I eat clean. There is no bad bacteria in my body. I tested it. There are things that I do not need that most Americans are severely deficient in… I’m not. So choose better! Below are purely diet.

Your Magnesium levels were: 2.2, the Optimal Range is 1.6-2.3. 

Your Total Protein levels were: 6.9, the Optimal Range is 6-8.5 

Your Alkaline phosphatase (ALP) levels were: 64, the Optimal Level is 39-117.